One day, fridges will take their revenge. They will burst into your bedroom in the middle of the night, switch the light on, stare at you for a few minutes and then leave.
What did the judge ask when he went to the dentist?
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“Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?”
My friend boasted he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain where Buddha actually comes from.
Q: What did the tall chimney say to the small chimney?
A: “Hey, you’re way too young to smoke.”
“Mom, don’t get alarmed, but I’m at the hospital.”
“Son, please. You’ve been a surgeon there for 8 years now.
Can we start our phone calls differently?”
The kangaroo mother got incredibly itchy around her belly. She opened her pouch and yelled into it:
“How often have I told you not to eat the crunchy cookies in bed!”
What if dogs fetch the ball back only because they think you really like throwing it?
“Little Jonny, why did you put your teddy in the freezer?”
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“I would like to have a polar bear.”
Man to his wife: “Do you know what our 6 year old son wants to be once he’s big?”
Wife: “No.”
Man: “A garbage man. And you know why?”
Wife: “No, why?”
Man: “Because he thinks they only work on Tuesdays.”
An eskimo brings his friend to his home for a visit. When they arrive, his friend asks, puzzled – “So where’s your igloo?”
“Oh no, I must’ve left the iron on…”
When a guy says he likes girls with a sense of humor, he doesn’t mean that he wants a girl to be really witty and funny. He means he wants her to laugh at his jokes.
In a boutique:
Could I try the dress in the shop window, please?
I’m sorry madam but no. We have cabins for that.
Joke of the day 